Was it worth it?


Everyone seems to ask me whether phalloplasty was worth it when they find out about my complications so I decided to make a post about it.
The answer is yes. Definitely.

My complications have caused a lot of pain and suffering. I had a catheter in for almost an entire year. Pissing myself wasn’t an uncommon occurance. I had near constant bladder spasms. I had several extra month of recovery time. But the one thing I didn’t have to deal with? Dysphoria. I’d rather deal with physical discomfort over dysphoria any day.
Up until my most recent surgery, I had practically no dysphoria. Since my last surgery I’ve been peeing out of where the female urethral opening would be which has caused a tiny amount of dysphoria but it’s not enough to impact my life. And it’s only for 3 months. Besides that, none. Yes I get self conscious about my hips, my height, lack of facial hair, and other somewhat feminine features. But it’s just that. Self consciousness, not dysphoria.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been. No words can describe how good it feels to look down and see what was always supposed to be there. Feeling my dick when something brushes against it. Getting in the shower and my dick not coming off when I take off my clothes. It just feels right.

A similar but slightly different question I get is whether I’d do it all over again. The answer to that one is more complicated. Yes I would definitely still have phalloplasty. I might reconsider certain aspects, though. I would look more into having urethral lengthening in a separate stage. I’d grow some balls (lol) to get over my fear of drs and go as soon as there was a problem. I’d also definitely take off a year from college.

So long story short, was phalloplasty worth it? So worth it that words can’t describe it.

August 25 2014, 07:20 AM   •   50 notes   •   Via: phalloblog   •   Source: phalloblog


I got an anon a while ago asking to post pics in boxers and sweats. I meant to post this when I first got the ask but the app kept crashing.
1-flopped to the side in tight boxer briefs
2- straight down in tight boxer briefs
3- straight down in looser boxer briefs
4- in loose gym shorts
Couldn’t find any sweats sorry.

August 24 2014, 02:40 PM   •   14 notes   •   Via: thatsnotrebellion   •   Source: thatsnotrebellion

Hysterectomy and Vaginectomy Information


This is part 3 in a series of posts summarizing what was said during the Gender Odyssey conference in Seattle from August 14-17, 2014. This is a mix of basic and supplemental knowledge. This is knowledge to expand upon what you already know but may not provide groundwork for fully understanding it otherwise.

Dr. Webb – Scottsdale, Arizona. Co-surgeon of Dr. Meltzer
Dr. Nicole – Burlingame, California. Co-surgeon of Dr. Bowers
Dr. Crane - San Francisco, California (mentioned)

There are 3 main forms of hysterectomy operations available and what you choose will impact the price, risks involved, and recovery time you will experience:

Total Abdominal Hysterectomy (TAH) – An incision is made across the abdominal wall, cutting through skin and connective tissue. Longest healing time, most pain, leaves a 5 inch scar on the abdomen. 6 weeks to return to normal activity levels.

Vaginal Hysterectomy – An incision is made at the top of the vagina. Faster healing time than the TAH, but it’s like operating through a long, narrow tube, so surgeons can’t view your other organs. Less pain than TAH, faster recovery, but you’ll bleed out of that area for a little while. 2 weeks to return to normal activity levels, with restrictions placed on heavy lifting.

Laparoscopic Hysterectomy – Small incisions are made in the abdomen (1/4th of an inch or so) and laparoscopic tools are used. This gives the surgeon a full view of the abdomen. This is usually the cheapest method, is minimally invasive, and has the fastest recovery time. This is the operation I would opt for, personally. 6 days-2 weeks to turn to normal activity levels, with restrictions on heavy lifting.

The prices of these operations vary, but Dr. Nicole listed the prices of her and Dr. Bowers as (and this includes hospital fees):
$13,000 – Laparoscopic with Dr. Nicole
$17,000 – Abdominal or vaginal with Dr. Bowers

Dr. Webb mentioned something that I can’t verify. He talked about how doctors will leave pieces behind sometimes when performing hysterectomies, sometimes even a full ovary, and that when he performs a vaginectomy he always checks to make sure everything has been properly removed. I don’t know whether or not to believe him, but with the way he spoke about it I feel the need to. I’m torn about this.

There is no real medical benefit for having a hysterectomy performed. There have been no proven instances of testosterone therapy in transgender men increasing rates of cancer in our reproductive organs (cervical, ovarian, etc.). In the Hormones 101 workshop it was even discussed that a recent study might suggest that testosterone prevents ovarian cancer, but this was measured in cis women taking small doses. At this time no long term studies have been performed specifically assessing whether or not testosterone increases rates of cancer in our reproductive organs, but anecdotal information from doctors and surgeons with 15+ years of experience treating trans populations suggests that there is no link. I’m inclined to believe this. There are two main reasons a person will opt for a hysterectomy:

1) They have no desire to have these parts inside of them as they were never meant to have them

2) Pain. Dr. Nicole explained that on testosterone the uterus becomes small. As it shrinks down it pulls on the surrounding muscles, specifically the round ligaments, which can cause cramping/contractions which can be very painful. I’ve experienced this myself and it’s fairly common.

Trying to get a hysterectomy done when you are young is quite a pain but it isn’t impossible. This is because it is voluntary sterilization and there is a dark history around the sterilization of populations and a lot of stigma associated with that. Most places want you to be at least 21, but getting them under this age (or underage in general) is not impossible.

- If you have a vaginectomy you absolutely need to have a hysterectomy.
- You can have a vaginectomy done without having any form of bottom surgery.
- You can have urethral lengthening done without needing a vaginectomy. Dr. Crane and Dr. Bowers allow this, but Dr. Meltzer requires one to be performed if UL happens. This is because leaving the vagina increases the complication rates associated with UL.

The urethra runs along the top of the vagina. When performing urethral lengthening the original urethra needs to have an extension placed at the end of it at a 90 degree angle so that it can be rerouted to allow you to pee from the newly positioned opening. This is a lot of work going on in a small area, so if you don’t have a vaginectomy done then they need to both maintain the vagina while supporting this very delicate urethral lengthening process, which is where the complications come in. Mucosa is what supplies blood flow to the urethra and proper blood flow is necessary for healing to occur, so when the blood flow is limited then complications arise and the urethra can fail. If you perform a vaginectomy and sew the walls of the vagina shut, then blood vessels from both sides of the vagina will supply more blood to the urethra and lower the rate of complications. Sewing these walls shut also provides support for the bowels and the bladder so that they stay in place as you age.

Dr. Crane described complication rates associated with UL and a vaginectomy at about 10-20%, whereas without a vaginectomy complication rates increase to at least 25%. These estimates seemed a little conservative based on what I’ve heard, but I’ll leave it at that.

August 24 2014, 12:19 PM   •   63 notes   •   Via: anonimotrans   •   Source: gendercube
Will I be able to ejaculate from my penis after phalloplasty?
Anonymous Asked


As current medical science stands the answer is: rarely.
If the skenes gland is kept intact then there is a chance that you will be able to ejaculate after bottom surgery. It would be a clear fluid that dribbles out rather than forcefully ejaculating, but that’s about it.

Let’s work through this so that it’s clear why this isn’t possible right now. It’s helpful when you can logically understand it instead of getting a short “yes” or “no” answer. To ejaculate in the way that a cis male does you’d require functioning testicles and you’d require vas defrens. The testicles would produce semen, the stuff you’d be ejaculating during orgasm, and the vas defrens is the passage way for semen to go from the testicles to the urethra. Once the seminal fluid is in the urethra the body also needs a mechanism for the bladder neck to close off, preventing retrograde seminal movement which would allow the semen to go into the bladder. It’s amazing how complicated an orgasm is and how quickly all of this happens. After that contractions of the pelvic floor force the semen out and that’s where the ejaculation occurs. The prostate, bulbourethral gland, and a few others things are all involved in this but I narrowed it down to what would most likely be the bare minimum for ejaculation (I could be wrong).

So with this in mind let’s consider what is and isn’t possible right now in medical science. With phalloplasty we can create an aesthetically pleasing, fully sensate penis of average size that one can use to urinate from and can achieve orgasm with. It can’t get hard on it’s own and it you can’t ejaculate from it, but otherwise you’ve essentially got all of your basis covered. Creating the urethra itself is difficult enough as is and that’s where 95% of complications from phalloplasty happen, so forming vas defrens and connecting this to the urethra at this time isn’t possible. Neither is the mechanism to close off the bladder or the ability to create functioning testicles. That would require an incredible amount of microsurgery. However, that doesn’t mean it won’t ever be possible. Medical science is advancing by lightyears all the time and there is a team who was recently (last year, I believe) given grants necessary to conduct 5 years of research into medical procedures for veterans, including growing penises. At this time we have the technology to grow full urethras, functioning livers, functioning kidneys, etc. - It won’t be long before this is part of our future. If the research by the medical team I listed just a moment ago goes well it could be as little as 5 years.

August 24 2014, 12:15 PM   •   81 notes   •   Via: gendercube   •   Source: gendercube

Sexual Satisfaction With Metoidioplasty



De Cuypere et al. evaluated sexual and physical health after sex reassignment surgery in 2005, with the mean followup of 6.2 years in female to male transsexuals. They observed improvement of many parameters of sexual life after female to male transition.

  • Sexual satisfaction with a partner after surgery was reported by 81.9% of patients, compared to 50% prior to surgery
  • Orgasm frequency increased from 45.5% to 77.8%
  • Frequent sexual arousal increased from 40% to 60.9%
  • Frequent masturbation increased from 20% to 78.3% of participants
  • Overall sexual satisfaction was reported in 76.2% of the cases, with 19% of unsatisfied patients

Some of these changes can be contributed to the influence of male hormones on sexual behavior and libido, as reported.

Results from an April 2014 study conducted in Belgrade, Serbia:

  • Overall sexual satisfaction is documented in 87.6% of the cases
  • Orgasm when masturbating is documented in 70%
  • Erection of the neophallus and sexual arousal is documented in 100%
August 04 2014, 12:58 PM   •   221 notes   •   Via: theotheropinion   •   Source: ftmmetoidioplasty

Vaguely Blogging Bottom Surgery 

May 19 2014, 10:06 PM   •   8 notes


In my ongoing bottom surgery research, I’ve come across some really great Meto results on Dr. Cranes site.  I’m really impressed with Patient C’s penis results, especially since it looks uncircumcised (Link to results below).  The thing that really stands out for me is where everything is places and how the testicles seem very much like a cis mans would be. 

I just wonder how much growth one needs to have to qualify for this procedure. 


May 19 2014, 02:53 PM   •   14 notes   •   Via: captainpeachfuzz   •   Source: captainpeachfuzz
Do you know of anywhere where you can watch guys who have had phalloplasty jack off?
Anonymous Asked



Yes actually!

Xtube has some awesome videos of men who have had Phalloplasty jacking off, peeing, pumping up their balls to get hard, getting BJs and having sex! Here are some awesome links for you!

If you know of anymore links, please send them to me and I will add them to this!

May 11 2014, 07:21 AM   •   236 notes   •   Via: chaseross   •   Source: ftmsextalk
Is there any way to get phalloplasty covered by insurance? My policy does not cover anything related to transgenderism. Can I purchase an additional policy that will?


I think you can purchase multiple policies, but I don’t live in the U.S. so I’m not certain.

While it’s easier to get phalloplasty coverage under a policy without trans exclusions, I have heard of guys who appealed denials and managed to get coverage anyway.

If you’re considering attending university, the list of institutions that are including trans health coverage in their student policies is growing steadily.

Just yesterday, it was announced that insurance carriers in Colorado are eliminating trans exclusions, and there are signs that Medicare could cover in the future. Basic Rights Oregon have had big wins in the fight for inclusive health care, and similar victories have been won in California, Colorado, Vermont, and Washington, D.C. Momentum is building!

Once you have a policy that will cover phalloplasty, you’ll need to find a surgeon “in network” or work out an arrangement with the insurance company to fund an out of network surgeon. This may include you paying for some of the surgery expense (if they “cap” the amount they’ll pay.)

Sorry I don’t have a more specific answer, but I hope this helps.

so this is really hard and vulnerable for me to ask but I was wondering if folks could give me information about FTM metoidioplasty and phalloplasty procedures in Montreal?



*feel free to reblog and answer or message
*any info would help - i don’t know what website to look at that will tell me more about the procedures and give me accurate information
*info about coverage etc would be super helpful
*i feel shy talking about bottom stuff but i really need to put this out there into the universe
*thanks folks
*i live in BC, Canada so any relevant info would be helpful thank you


So Dr. Brassard website is http://www.grsmontreal.com/ and it gives an overview of the procedures offered and how they work.

As for coverage in B.C. there is technically a way we could get it covered but the odds are pretty slim. The province just recently decided to fund 5 people a year for 5 years for FtM lower surgery. There are people on the list but no one has been sent because travel isn’t covered and all that. Waiting for coverage would be 5+ years so I plan on going to Dr. Brassard privately. 

As far as I know full metoidioplasty with him (including stay at the post-op clinic) is about $25,000 and for phalloplasty it’s about $43,9000 but don’t take that as complete truth only his clinic will be able to give the proper estimate. 

Also, Dr. Brassard follows the WPATH Standards of Care meaning that you need letters from therapists who also follow those standards of care approving your for the procedure. 

If you have any other questions let me know Zain :) I plan on going to Dr. Brassard so I’ve done quite a bit of research about his team.

May 08 2014, 02:40 PM   •   18 notes   •   Via: journeyintomanhood   •   Source: transdesifemme

General Bottom Surgery Information


I’ve answered information on bottom surgery frequently enough on the Facebook FTM groups that I wanted to put the information on here as well. This will cover very basic information regarding bottom surgery techniques, sensation, and costs. At a later date I will post something more in-depth.

As a basic way of covering what options are available during bottom surgery, how the operations happen, and some discussion of risks associated with each method, you will find this link incredibly helpful: http://gires.org.uk/assets/Support-Assets/lower-surgery.pdf

What I find lacking in this link, though, is that it doesn’t give much attention to the surgical technique of lengthening the nerves already present in the clitoris (in regards to phalloplasty, this isn’t relevant to metoidioplasty). This is where much of the erotic sensation in the phallus will come from. Dr. Crane briefly explains this technique here, in which a nerve is salvaged from the forearm and is connected to the genitals and will extend over a period of months so that the whole phallus has sensation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWl-9Ki6Ias

Losing sensation is not common and often the studies people post to prove otherwise are older studies from the 90’s. At this point these studies are completely irrelevant as surgical techniques have advanced well beyond what they were 20 years ago. A recent study from 2007 was conducted specifically to address genital sensitivity post-op, which is here:http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17413887

This study found that “all female-to-male and 85% of the male-to-female patients reported orgasm.” In other words, all FTM patients retained sexual sensation. And keep in mind that this study was conducted 7 years ago, in which time advancements in bottom surgery have continued forward and results are getting better every year. I’ve talked with over 20 people who have completed their phalloplasties and all have retained sexual sensation, although they report that how they experience this sensation is obviously different from before surgery, so it’s takes some adjustment.

Another study was conducted and published in 2011 that reported “Almost all participants were able to achieve orgasm during masturbation and sexual intercourse, and the majority reported a change in orgasmic feelings toward a more powerful and shorter orgasm. Surgical satisfaction was high, despite a relatively high complication rate” (with complication rates being linked almost solely to urethral problems, such as fistulas). This study can be found here: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/…/j.1743-6109…/abstract

I post these links as a way of showing that retaining sensation is of utmost important to surgeons and that losing sensation is not the norm, contrary to popular belief. We aren’t reduced to choosing operations based on whether or not we will feel anything afterwards.

As for the costs of the operation, this will vary entirely on what operation you choose, what options you choose in that (you can choose to have/not have testicular implants, urethral lengthening, nerve hook-up, etc), where you have it done, and if insurance can cover it for you. Metoidioplasty can range from $7,500 to over $45,000. Metoidioplasty costs can be found here: http://www.metoidioplasty.net/costs/ (this link also has a lot of information about the different forms of metoidioplasty)

Phalloplasty costs can range much more widely and I don’t know of any links that cover all of the costs in the same way that the above link does. I’ve had price quotes given to me by surgeons and typically all 3 stages can cost about $90,000 all together. This sounds like a lot for an operation but keep in mind that this is 3 operations done over a period of about 1.5 years at minimum and covers a very extensive amount of surgery. These prices will differ of course depending on what surgeons you look at, where they’re located (Thailand has been listed as much less expensive, for instance), and if your insurance will cover it.

May 06 2014, 09:26 PM   •   120 notes   •   Via: anonimotrans   •   Source: gendercube

Metoidioplasty - My Journey to Serbia 


This is the movie of my journey to Serbia for my metoidioplasty.

The Brazilian Meta: “Ortho-Phalloplasty”


The O.R. video of a Metoidioplasty surgery done in Brazil has enjoyed more than a few spikes of traffic since it was uploaded to YouTube over a year ago. Narrated in Portuguese, it’s the favorable looking surgery results that are responsible for the video’s popularity.


Simply stated, this patient got some big results from his Metoidioplasty surgery. Measurements in the video show a length 3.5-4.5”, with considerable girth.

The surgery is performed by Urologist Dr. Carlos Cury in São José do Rio Preto, São Paulo, Brazil. While Dr. Cury explains how he releases the neophallus by cutting the ligaments that hold it down, and removes fat from the mons area for optimum positioning and prominence, it’s unclear if there’s anything specific to his technique to account for this patient’s size, or if that’s simply a result of genetics.

So, don’t get too excited about this being some newfangled technique.

But chin-up camper because there are numerous anecdotal reports of 4” penises post-meta. Genetics play a big role in determining post-operative size, but pumping, DHT cream and Cialis have also been touted as solid ways of optimizing meta results.

Note: The OR video below is graphic.

April 22 2014, 12:09 PM   •   123 notes   •   Via: drakensberg   •   Source: ftmmetoidioplasty

Urethral Complications during Phalloplasty 

April 04 2014, 07:21 AM   •   12 notes   •   Via: secretlytruscum   •   Source: transsexualism